Anyone who reads this blog or has the misfortune to spend time with me in real life can vouch for the fact that I'm probably not the most political person most of the time. Places you were historically least likely to find me include political conventions, voting booths or watching C-SPAN. However, this year's election has galvanized my interest, along with many other lazy Americans, for a variety of reasons - not the least of which is the buffoon who's been occupying the oval office for the past 8 years, and the realization that we can't have another 8 years of the same or similar.
How engaged in this year's campaigns are we as a nation? Well, extrapolating from my own personal experience, I'd have to say pretty fucking engaged. For example, yesterday I participated in a lengthy and (for us) pretty intelligent discourse about the election with my group of friends.
This may not seem like anything notable at a glance, but consider that 99% of our email conversations to this point have been about fantasy football, gambling, drinking, women, or relentless mockery of everything under the sun, and it's clear that a full-day back and forth about the state of our nation and the pros and cons of those who may end up running it is significant.
Bringing it back to familiar ground (drinking), I'll share today an email that was circulated by a friend of mine (thanks Ticks!!) that you should all consider as we prepare for tonight's vice presidential debate.
VP DEBATE DRINKING GAME (This email originated at MIT.)
In the blue corner, Joe "I take the train home" Biden. In the red corner Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin.
(My interjection: comment from a coworker after reading this, "if we follow the game we will all be wasted within the first 5 minutes. That is of course assuming the red team can follow anything Palin is saying.")
Blue Team Rules
- For every mention of Scranton, Pennsylvania: Take a sip.
- When Biden begins the "I take the train home everyday story" being drinking. Don't stop 'till he finishes.
- When Biden questions Palin's inexperience: Drink something you've never had before
- When Biden makes an obvious gaffe: Spill your neighbor's drink
- When Biden uses X words when Y will do: Drink X-Y seconds
- When Biden patronizes or self identifies with the working class: Down some brew (Bonus points if you use Miller Highlife)
- When Biden lambastes Washington Insiders: Make a toast to his 35 years of experience in the United States Senate
- The Joe Biden checklist. If he mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Blue Collar, Golden Parachute, Little Guy, Washington Insider, Working Class, Clean
Red Team Rules
- Every time Palin cites Alaska's proximity to Russia as "foreign policy experience": Take a shot of vodka
- When Palin claims she said "Thanks but no thanks" to the Bridge to Nowhere: Demand a new drink from your hosts, say "thanks but no thanks," and then when no one's looking, take it anyway, then claim you never wanted it.
- When Palin recounts putting the governor's jet on eBay: Auction off a beer to your friends
- When Palin insists that governing a small town in Alaska is in fact experience: Give your friend a shot glass of beer when he/she asks for a pint and insist it's the same thing.
- When Palin points out that Biden thought Obama was too inexperienced for the job: Finish your drink and say, "Oh Snap!" If you're a democrat, follow this by crying.
- When Palin claims that Washington's problems can be solved by small town know how and common sense: Drink a Labatt Blue as you read up on how to become a Canadian citizen.
- When Palin talks about being the most popular governor in the country: Go to a room by yourself, realize you're the most popular person in the room, then finish your drink.
- The Sarah Palin checklist. If she mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Bush Doctrine, Snow Machine, Moose, Lipstick, Hockey Mom, Family Values
More shenanigans here and here. And thanks to the same coworker for pointing those out!!
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